Chivalry is dead…or is it? To give somebody a modicum of respect is a timeless gesture and like yawning, it’s highly contagious and goes a long way. I’m still astonished by the amount of men that do not understand this seemingly simple reality of life. In terms of dating, whether the dating scene is something foreign or not there are no valuable excuses that negate this fact. I usually target single parents as my main audience nevertheless 7 dating tips for men can serve as a source of viable information for pretty much every men regardless of their current status.
Without further delay, let’s dive in.
Look like your pictures
That one is paramount…like really. There’s a possibility that the pictures on your profile are not necessarily the most recent ones and It can be understandable. The problem appears when the tinder(link)or hinge (link) pictures are in total opposition to what you currently look like. Be confident, be smart and most importantly be truthful. As a single parent, there might be a few pounds difference between what you looked like before the kids and after nonetheless lying will serve no purpose. It will actually hinder your chances and probably prompt your date to terminate the outing prematurely. Own your look and be proud of it.
Greet properly and appropriately
I realize that greetings might differ depending on where you live but again respect is international. Do you live somewhere where it’s considered polite to greet a woman with kisses on the cheek ? Then do so with courtesy and don’t be overwhelming. You lean 70% of the way and let her lean the other 30%. On the contrary, if the hand shake is the only appropriate form of greeting, again do so with intent and consideration. What does that mean? The handshake must be firm and not strong while keeping constant eye contact. It demonstrates sincerity.
Do not go to the movies as a first date
When going on a date, the main objective is usually to get to know the person and see if there’s potential for a longer term relationship or whatever you might have agreed on. The latter is outside of the scope of this article unfortunately. In order to correctly interact with the other person, try scheduling an encounter at a coffee shop or some other place where it’s actually possible to talk. There are multiple advantages to doing that:
- For security reasons since it will probably be the first time you meet each other face to face.
- By talking to the person, it gives a chance for both parties to see if there’s actually a bond.
- If there’s no connection, it gives everybody the chance to part ways without any awkwardness.
- It allows for the date to continue to another venue if there’s chemistry.
A compliment goes a long way
Don’t go overboard with the compliments, you’re not in a Shakespeare play and there are no stanzas to recite. In spite of that, a subtle appreciation will go a long way. Chivalry is not dead, it has just modernized. To do properly, the commendation needs to be linked to something the other person evidently put effort into. Don’t compliment the shoes if they look worn out for example. Be observant and it can be really counterproductive to simply blurt out random blandishments. If unsure, honestly say that he’s/she’s looks good, it should be well-received. For people who experience great difficulties with this step or any of the other steps, I sincerely recommend this book: How to win friends and influence people. It will serve as a great complement to this 7 dating tips for men article.
Sometimes, we like to hear ourselves talk but on a date it’s the last thing you want to do. It’s important to go with the flow of the conversation and not try to constantly fill the inevitable moments of silence. These bits are necessary as they serve as resets to carry on with another subject or maybe to allow the both of you to lock eyes…who knows!? The key is to ask open-ended questions, let the other person elaborate on each of the topic as It will offer valuable insight on their personalities. Retain the most information possible and bring it out from time to time during later conversations. Assuredly, the gesture will not go unnoticed and that by itself will rank you on top or at least near the top if you want another date. Do not underestimate how many men do not listen to what their date has to say. On a more serious note, there are three subjects that are utterly taboo on a first meet:
By all means, do not venture too deeply into these themes as it can quickly turn into quicksand with no possibility of escape. If your date wants to have your opinion on these, it’s advisable to answer as succinctly as possible withal try to avoid them at all cost at least for the first few encounters. Why? They’re really subjective subject matter and many people have strong opinions on one if not all of them.
Talk about past relationships with moderation
Many of us have been in less than stellar relationships and although we might have been the culprit or not, it’s quite irrelevant to go into too many details too soon. Do not lie but skirt the surface and give a general gist of past relations. Talk thoroughly about past relations and the other person might think you’re still not over your ex. Undoubtedly, if you’re still not over her, please read my article: How to let go after a break up in 4 easy steps. It will certainly help you through this rough period. Fend off the need to slander your exes and simply give a neutral attestation regarding your past history. This attitude confirms that you have dealt with your past and are ready to move on. Which is why you’ve restarted dating in the first place, right? At the beginning of the dating process, restrict yourself to these bullet points.
- How long you were together?
- Is she the mother of your children or the other parent(if same sex couple)?
- What happened? State facts and remain neutral.
- What you did after the break up in order to move on? Hopefully, you read my article: The Best things to do after a break up…wink.
On the long run, if you decide to pursue a particular relation then that means my help would have been useful and in which case openness within the couple will be a must.
It’s important to quickly set the expectations when you’re courting. Don’t have the budget to meet at a high end restaurant? Well, don’t set a date at one. If it’s not habitual for you to tell jokes then it’s advisable to not venture into that boulevard. Use the plethora of strengths you possess and don’t succumb to the urge of trying to appear richer, bolder or wittier than your typical nature. It will have the opposite effect and make the whole soirée awkward. In case the other person doesn’t like your true personality, suffice to say that it was probably not meant to be. To start a relationship with false elements is not a good omen for the rest of it. Know your strengths and use them to your advantage.
Any other tips that you might have for all the men out there? Let me know in the comments below and it will be my pleasure to continue the conversation.